My morning started off well. I was up early enjoying my own quiet time. The only thing better would have been to add a run. I was praying about discipline. An area I need as much improvement in as our boys. Being reminded, I need to catch behaviors early and not allow their misbehaviors to spiral out of control.
Our boys started off the day getting along well. They played ball instructing and training our youngest in the ball-handling techniques that they know. They were being great big brothers! Excellent examples! I had fun listening to their kind words of encouragement and the gentle ways they redirected Cole, even when he would lie on the floor after each play. They did not get upset with him. They just encouraged him to try harder and showed him ways to improve.
It's amazing how quickly things can change. A little time had passed and one misbehavior occurred. I immediately dealt with the behavior. Almost patting myself on the back, as I went about my morning business.
However, one thing I do know about our boys is they should never get ready at same time! Our oldest two are 22-months apart. They share everything together including their bedroom. I just know that a wrestling match or a quick game of hoops is more likely to occur then getting dressed if they go upstairs together. Hearing the pounding from their bedroom floor, you would think that the Extreme Home Make-over Team is demolishing our home. As quickly as I was encouraged by them, the reverse seemed to happen. I was disappointed listening to how they started to respond to each other. But ultimately, I would leave this morning more disappointed with myself, and how I addressed their behavior. I'm not a fan of loud noises, and the pounding coming from upstairs upset me. I yelled at one of our boys, spanked another, and ultimately felt sad. After the storm settled, our oldest looked at me and said, "You look tired." My response was, "Sometimes you guys wear me out." He looked right back at me and said, "You do the same, too!"
Later, feeling like a chai tea and a good cry would help put the world back in order again. Heaven knows I needed time to myself today, and the Lord prearranged that in advance. Now it was just me, and the sprinkler man I'm waiting on (my husband lovely invited him over on my 2-hours off). I know the things I need to do to change my own behaviors, and a behavior chart is probably in our plans. But in that precise moment I thought, "Somebody tell me I'm a good mom!"
I drive a van (only out of necessity) with dusty, finger drawings on it and marked with many student-of-the-month bummer stickers (I'm proud of our boys, but I would most likely add those ornaments to our refrigerator and not to our van). I don't even have the heart to erase the dusty drawings on the van until I capture it in a picture. I love these little boys! Just wish every moment I would be a good mom to them. I'm not perfect. I cannot do this alone. Which leads me to, every mom needs a Mother's Day. Every mom needs to know she doesn't have to do this alone. That she's doing ok, even when she fails. That she will fail. Bumps will come along the way, and a good cry may sometimes still be in order. But every mom should know, she deserves a Mother's Day!