I didn't expect any emotions to be associated with this visit today. But there was. It was real. I love that child. Always will! It was good for me to think about that little one today. Four pregnancies. Yes. Three children. Yes. Three here, and one there waiting for me... One day we will meet!
I had a routine doctor's visit today. Nothing unusually or special just a regular check-up. The unexpected part came as I was reminded twice I had miscarried five years ago almost to the day. Sitting quietly in the waiting room, I looked over my paperwork including my past history. "4 pregnancies" it read. My initial thought was, "That's crazy. I only have three children." Then almost within the very same breath I realized it said, "Pregnancies." Oh! The pain associated with that miscarriage never completely left, and this place doesn't allow me to forget. Wow, five years! Had it really been that long? I later sat across from a nurse who restated the fact again, "You have had four pregnancies." "Yes," I quietly spoke in response. Vivid images filled my mind as I recalled sitting in this parking lot alone crying out to God in tears after the ultrasound revealed our child was not alive.
I didn't expect any emotions to be associated with this visit today. But there was. It was real. I love that child. Always will! It was good for me to think about that little one today. Four pregnancies. Yes. Three children. Yes. Three here, and one there waiting for me... One day we will meet!
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Saw a church billboard today that made an impact on me.
It said, "A Parent's Life is a Child's Handbook." Powerful thoughts to think that my life is the training manual my kids receive. Who edits this thing I call "my life?!" Left me convicted and thinking... |
Rebecca Dawson, M.A.Welcome to the Archives
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