As an introvert/extrovert female, I sometimes walk a fine, cloudy line between the two. I know when I have had my fill of people. I can generally tell when my extroverted side begins to break down, and the introverted side kicks in. I love people and delight in that realm, but only for a season. Then I'm off to feel comfortable and quiet. Mainly alone or with my family and close friends. This week I experienced this parting of the sea in my behavior again. After spending five days in around-the-clock social functions, I had reached my extroverted maximum. And it was in the midst of it, that I "missed" a dear friend. Someone who has trusted me over the years. Not like I missed the occasion to see her. Heaven knows, I found myself at plenty of functions where I could see friends. But it's one thing to see people and an entirely different thing to "see" the people you are with. To be present with them. I'll give you my excuses like, "I was tired. I had nothing to offer. I just didn't have any more to give." Those excuses don't cut it, and actually make me feel badly. Who's doing all of the "caring" anyway, me or Him? Who's strength am I using? Do I really care about others? Did I then? Or did I care more about getting home, snuggling up in my pajamas, and joining my comfortable life again. Social circumstances can push my buttons sometimes. They can for all of us. But isn't life about being pushed so we can live to the fullest extent? It matters to me that I missed her. It matters... It should matter. It would matter to me if I were on the receiving end... People and the pain they hold does matter. It matters! It needs to!
Rebecca Dawson, M.A.
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