My journal entry - Dec. 2008
Following my regular Dr. visit for our third child, I cried out to God in fear for our baby's health. The location of the placenta was a concern to our local doctors. I was being sent on to a Specialist. This would be our 4th pregnancy, but only our third child. We had been around the miscarriage block before, and the doctor I was seeing specialized in high-risk pregnancies and birth defects. Below is a portion of my journal:
What does this mean for our baby? The doctors took pictures of our child's brain today. They have never done that before. I'm gaining a peace. But I don't want to talk to anyone about this. Only God. I woke up last night, fighting to keep peace all night...
Two weeks later and holidays in between, we were finally able to see the Specialist. Before the visit I felt God assuring me, "Not to be afraid, and this wasn't about me or the baby." I felt God was calling me to pray with the Doctor during this appointment. Pray with him and for him, and then trust that everything would be okay. I knew this was crazy. I didn't want to do this, but I knew I heard a still, small voice calling me. I did not feel lead to tell Chad. Frankly, I didn't want talked out of this. Praying with this Doctor was going to be a huge stretch for me. I didn't want to do this anymore than the next person, but our baby is what mattered. This was important to me. I was willing to humble myself for this. At this point, I was more afraid of praying with the Doctor than our baby's outcome from the visit which was probably a good thing. I felt God had that under control. Chad would be okay. He would be understandably uncomfortable. But so was I!
We arrived late to our appointment only to be met with more confusion from the nurse. Not the regular staff, this nurse wasn't sure whether I was to wear a gown or needed to remain dressed for this visit. That doesn't sound like much until you are the one wrapped naked in only a sheet of paper and offering to pray with the Physician seeing you! After some time, it was determined I could remain clothed. The Doctor came in and apologized for the miscommunication with the nurse staff. I continued to be more concerned about praying with this guy then the baby. He immediately proceeded with our appointment. I'm sure I caught him off guard because I stopped him. "Dr. Miller," I said, "I know you don't know me, and this is probably the strangest request you have ever received. But can I pray out loud first?" After he (and Chad) collected themselves and their dropped jaws returned to normal, he said. "Sure. Do whatever you want." Then he apologized for his bedside manner. I could tell he was uncomfortable and didn't know what to do as he quickly shuffled papers. I prayed quickly, but out loud. I prayed blessing for him and his new practice (he was three days away from opening a new facility). I thanked God for how he had used Dr. Miller in the lives of many women and children, and concluded with praying for our child. I prayed that this baby would be perfectly healthy. My prayer was only about 8-10 sentences, and I ended. Dr. Miller quickly proceeded with our ultrasound. He looked up at me at and said, "Looks like your prayers have been answered! Why are you here, anyway? What was the concern?"
Everything turned out great! Chad and I thanked God in the car together and laughed and laughed and laughed some more. God used such an uncomfortable situation to answer our prayers. Chad was so uncomfortable with my request to pray that he looked around and wondered if he should offer to take off his clothes instead of me and then proceed with the exam! :)
In the end, everything was more than "just fine!" Everything turned out wonderfully! Our third baby is happy and healthy today! I can look back now, and thank God for trusting me with this request. But this was an uncomfortable challenge for me. Talk about getting out of your comfort zone. I'm thankful today that God remains faithful even in the times and situations when I don't
(2 Timothy 2:13).
Following my regular Dr. visit for our third child, I cried out to God in fear for our baby's health. The location of the placenta was a concern to our local doctors. I was being sent on to a Specialist. This would be our 4th pregnancy, but only our third child. We had been around the miscarriage block before, and the doctor I was seeing specialized in high-risk pregnancies and birth defects. Below is a portion of my journal:
What does this mean for our baby? The doctors took pictures of our child's brain today. They have never done that before. I'm gaining a peace. But I don't want to talk to anyone about this. Only God. I woke up last night, fighting to keep peace all night...
Two weeks later and holidays in between, we were finally able to see the Specialist. Before the visit I felt God assuring me, "Not to be afraid, and this wasn't about me or the baby." I felt God was calling me to pray with the Doctor during this appointment. Pray with him and for him, and then trust that everything would be okay. I knew this was crazy. I didn't want to do this, but I knew I heard a still, small voice calling me. I did not feel lead to tell Chad. Frankly, I didn't want talked out of this. Praying with this Doctor was going to be a huge stretch for me. I didn't want to do this anymore than the next person, but our baby is what mattered. This was important to me. I was willing to humble myself for this. At this point, I was more afraid of praying with the Doctor than our baby's outcome from the visit which was probably a good thing. I felt God had that under control. Chad would be okay. He would be understandably uncomfortable. But so was I!
We arrived late to our appointment only to be met with more confusion from the nurse. Not the regular staff, this nurse wasn't sure whether I was to wear a gown or needed to remain dressed for this visit. That doesn't sound like much until you are the one wrapped naked in only a sheet of paper and offering to pray with the Physician seeing you! After some time, it was determined I could remain clothed. The Doctor came in and apologized for the miscommunication with the nurse staff. I continued to be more concerned about praying with this guy then the baby. He immediately proceeded with our appointment. I'm sure I caught him off guard because I stopped him. "Dr. Miller," I said, "I know you don't know me, and this is probably the strangest request you have ever received. But can I pray out loud first?" After he (and Chad) collected themselves and their dropped jaws returned to normal, he said. "Sure. Do whatever you want." Then he apologized for his bedside manner. I could tell he was uncomfortable and didn't know what to do as he quickly shuffled papers. I prayed quickly, but out loud. I prayed blessing for him and his new practice (he was three days away from opening a new facility). I thanked God for how he had used Dr. Miller in the lives of many women and children, and concluded with praying for our child. I prayed that this baby would be perfectly healthy. My prayer was only about 8-10 sentences, and I ended. Dr. Miller quickly proceeded with our ultrasound. He looked up at me at and said, "Looks like your prayers have been answered! Why are you here, anyway? What was the concern?"
Everything turned out great! Chad and I thanked God in the car together and laughed and laughed and laughed some more. God used such an uncomfortable situation to answer our prayers. Chad was so uncomfortable with my request to pray that he looked around and wondered if he should offer to take off his clothes instead of me and then proceed with the exam! :)
In the end, everything was more than "just fine!" Everything turned out wonderfully! Our third baby is happy and healthy today! I can look back now, and thank God for trusting me with this request. But this was an uncomfortable challenge for me. Talk about getting out of your comfort zone. I'm thankful today that God remains faithful even in the times and situations when I don't
(2 Timothy 2:13).
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